It is always easy to look back at the months and years and tell myself: “Look! You have come so far, well done!”

But I remembered the days when all I felt was lost and hopelessness; when I thought that I couldn’t go any lower and I did; when I went through the many triggers and anxieties, the feelings of impending doom. These days I stop expecting and hoping good things to happen until they really do. A subconscious self defence against disappointments.

So I just want to be grateful: for being alive and healthy, for a supportive husband, for friends who are always there, for a stable income, for the ability to seek help…

As pessimistic as I am, I know while many things don’t fall into place, many others do.